I have a blogger friend who spends a lot of time crafting beautifully written pieces that dissect every second of every delicately decided… decision. Her posts are fascinating and lovely to read and often prompt me to consider and reconsider aspects of my work, my day and on one occasion, my career. They give a lovely insight into the amount of decisions we make in a day and how we can have some semblance of control over aspects of our lives, regardless of our barriers.
But at the same time I always come away thinking “I think I remember when I could do that…” and then come here, log on and find myself staring at the blank page with an overly judgemental cursor blinking away reminding me of yesteryear when assignments wouldn’t get written but that league I created on SWOS was finished with, oddly, Jamie Redknapp being the leading scorer in the Premier division. Today’s Jamie Redknapp was finding a picture of a water bird showing us its arse.
I need to do some exploring. What is it that I’m afraid to do with this blog? Originally it was about living in a Covid world but I wanted to have a place where I could write something deeper, something about sharing aspects of myself, the work I do and the life I inhabit. I like the whimsy of shit posting but I sort of want to construct posts as opposed to ‘Stupid Thoughts’.
Like with everything in my life though, it becomes about effort and planning, neither which I’m usually very good at putting in. However one friendly-blogger inspired question I do keep coming back to is this:
- Does this add value to my life?
And at the moment, the answer is no. So from here, it’s about deciding to make this something, or quietly delete and fade away.