I love starting with a blank page when I write a blog post. A blank page is limitless. Literally anything can happen. Despite the fact that I’ve already downloaded a header image, I could go rogue and write anything here. I once advocated for recovery plans at work to be blank pages – clinicians didn’t agree that this was a good idea.
But clinicians aren’t my favourite people this week, maybe I’ll talk about that a little more when a burning anger about an incident last week has died down and I’ve processed it. Whatever the fuck ‘processing it’ means – but I hear people say it all the time especially after they’ve had some sort of dramatic sporting achievement or failure.
I’m back working from home and 20 minutes into the working day the total sum of my opening salvo of work has been to look up utes, think about university and scroll just a little. My favourite story being about a guy who broke a world record by living in a barrel atop a pole for 67 days straight.
I should say that my phone has been doing an update and I cannot log into my work desktop without access to my work phone. It’s a crazy system and it’s mostly frustrating but it allows me time to attack blank pages and “keep writing songs the world don’t care about” in the guise of blog posts on an obscurely named, badly designed WordPress anomaly in the deep vacuum of a server somewhere.
I’ve been thinking a lot about direction lately. What do I want? Where do I want to go? All that mid-life crisis stuff. The inevitable stuff that pops up when you hit a certain age. I’ve had a lot of false starts in my life – stuff that have given me opportunities that I never quite grasped or that I was too anxious to take advantage of.
I want to right that particular wrong and so there’s plenty of thought going on about the benefits of completing a university course vs catching legendary animals on RDR2 or sawing my enemies in half with a machine gun / chainsaw hybrid. The later is more fun but the former is more sensible and is more likely to fill a doubt in my mind. I already know that if I dial the difficulty notch down a setting or two I can finish the game – but up to this point, I’ve played my life mostly on the easy setting and convinced myself that I’m unlocking achievements.
I think it’s time to seriously considering delving into the menu and seeing what happens if and when I decide to move life level up from ‘Easy’ to ‘Normal’. Wish me luck.