I once tried to get pigeonholed by a psychiatrist as someone with a diagnosis of bipolar. It didn’t fit comfortably and I could tell what he was trying to do. I flat out refused to accept that diagnosis. That was 10 years ago. I still believe I’m right and he was wrong. Mainly because diagnosis isn’t particularly useful. And even if they were, I don’t fit.
They say that one of the traits of bipolar is to quickly jump on ideas and want to get them done immediately, doesn’t matter how fanciful or outlandish they may seem. This blog being a low level example of that. I set it up, did some blogging and still haven’t completed working on the design, doing a blogroll, adding appropriate widgets or plugins yet. But ho-hum, here we are and I’m enjoying it.
This sort of thing probably explains my desire to be a professional photographer without the discipline to learn post processing or dedicate any time to the pursuit – despite having spent a few grand on equipment over the years (I have had stuff published and sold some stuff so maybe I’m being harsh here). And it explains my yearning to go to university and get a degree despite not having the aptitude for that type of learning.
Anyway… the bipolar thing (the photo at the top isn’t of me by the way, I lack the get up and go to get up and go to places like that although the photos are pretty!)
I woke up this morning with an idea. A genuinely over the top ‘Oh my God, I think I’ve solved a big gap!’ thing. And I want to tell everyone about it. And I want to get it done by the end of the day. And I want to take the day off work and instead put this over the top brimming with excitement idea into practice.
But here’s the thing, I think it’s a genuinely good idea. And implemented right, it could be extremely useful to the people who might want to use it. But it’s big. And it’ll take time. And stamina. And collaboration. And smarts. And relinquishing control. And negotiation. And did I mention time?
For now I needed somewhere to write about it without saying what it is. I have chosen a close inner circle to reach out to and I’ll test the waters with them before putting any firm plans into action. It’ll be a long run up and it’d be at least 12-18 months away before it would bear fruit.
But right now, it’s nice just being back in that ‘manic’ stage of having ideas, thoughts and wanting to achieve. Maybe it’s because I forgot my medication last night. And last time that happened I ended up getting into a heated argument about dog shit (quite literal dog shit.)
The next 12 hours could be fun, let me enjoy them!