Covid can go fuck itself.
It’s been a pretty shit week. I’ve needed some time off work as I’m suffering from a certain level of burnout and I was planning to speak to my GP this week about the possibility of some mental health related sick leave. A bout of suspected mild pneumonia put pay to that and I was promptly signed off for all of last week anyway.
Whilst it allowed me to power level my character on Destiny 2 and finally reach level 100 on the season pass (and get some shiny new boots that glow white when my guardian runs!) I can’t help but feel that the coughing fits and general shitty illy / fluey feelings sort of took control away from what I wanted to get done during my week off. I literally wince every time I see the state of the garden and with summer getting ever closer I wanted to get this stuff done during winter.
But realistically all of this doesn’t register on the radar to the news from home over the weekend. My best friend’s dad passed away. It was expected. He’s been sick for a while now. But the gut punch that hit me when I read that he’d passed away took me by surprise. Maybe it’s because I know this guy, I know him well. He’s welcomed me into his home, he has a nickname for me and he would cheerfully shout hello whenever I was on the phone across the planet to my best mate.
I think of his wife of 40 years and how she will now cope. They seemed to have such a perfect synergy. This rolling perfection of working class happiness that always fitted remarkably comfortably with my own outlook and life experience. They got along, they seemed to see things differently and dovetailed in a way that can only really be done by living in close proximity for nearly half a century.
I was supposed to be in my homeland right now. My family and I had planned a trip to go home at this time of the year. I was supposed to be there to lend a hand, to be practical, to be emotionally supportive. I get that it’s not about me but I can’t help but think that I have a “very particular set of skills” that might’ve helped someone in some small way. Of course, it would’ve been nice to also have the night of drinking, crying and laughing where we remember the fond bits of growing up and of how we’re influenced by the people we know.
But that’s not going to happen. So I just wanted to take the opportunity to say… Covid, go fuck yourself.
DR… you’ll be missed and will leave a big hole in the world.