I don’t get self congratulatory very often but today I stepped off the ledge and did something that I genuinely don’t like doing – public speaking.
I guess that’s true of most people but whenever I have an audience of more than 1, I go from sensible, knowledgeable and in control to a weird British-Aussie hybrid of an over caffeinated Jim Carey. My face contorts and I make noises that I didn’t know my body was capable of making and my points seem more like random jigsaw pieces fired from a potato cannon than something I’ve sat down and carefully considered.
But today I co-presented on peer work and the value it brings and… well, it went well… I think.
And there was only a little bit of tripping. And by the end I relaxed and I enjoyed it and was able to field questions and put some of my own personality into it. Obviously this couldn’t have been done alone and, as always, the gentle and soothing hand of the peer work community and colleagues were there to see my through – like a never-ending wave of encouragement and cookie dough ice cream.
I ended up really enjoying it. I’ve thought about training and teaching for a long time but my falling apart in front of a crowd seemed to put that dream firmly in its box. And there’s a lot of barriers and one half-decent session when I’m the ‘expert’ on the topic doesn’t a career stretch make but it’s nice to have a fleeting thought that there are other options out there.
Great work!! Quite often we have to see the evidence in real life to be able to change our internal dialogue or narrative.
I too had a similar presentation recently and it also went well. I remember having a real cognitive dissonance moment afterwards where my brain was confused by “you’re actually really good at speaking and being articulate” and “you suck at everything”. I found it strange to acknowledge my success but a lovely co-worker reminded me it’s important to do so.
So, congrats, and keep recognising those small wins; they really do add up in the long run!