When I excitedly announced to my significant other that I was planning a blog I was told that she would have “at least $10” if I gave her a dollar for each time I’d claimed this. A little unfair I thought.
I used to blog a long time ago but I ran out of stuff. I ran out of stuff to be self-indulgent and angsty about and I ran out of things to say about the sports team I follow. I did have a good readership ‘back in the day’ and I miss the connection of blogging. There’s something about the social media that’s taken over from blogging that seems to not fit with me and rather than feel connected by it, I feel threatened by it.
Limits on characters or putting myself out there to family and friends… neither seem to suit me on the platforms that I have accounts for. I share photos a bit and I like it with the filters turned down but ultimately they’re all a time suck which leave me feeling more like a zombie than a human.
And having seen what happens to zombies in movies I don’t want to risk staying static as one for too long.
Ah yes… the elephant on the blog. “I don’t want to…” That’s a key phrase in my life. I suffer from anxiety (“Doesn’t everybody?!”) Yes, that’s true. I think we all have degrees. But for me it can be crippling. But more of that throughout my time here, however long that may be.
I also Googled ‘Is blogging still a thing?’ to which I found many articles which claimed that it still was. And I was happy about that. And then when I started flicking, I found I really enjoyed sitting down and reading people’s thoughts. Not in a 10 second scroll-past sort of a way, but in a ‘Hey, that’s cool that you’ve thought about that and managed to articulate it and put it out there’ sort of a way. And I wanted in – again. ($11)
Plus I’ve been a big fan of the guys at The Big Feels Club (click it, it’ll open in a new tab). They get it. The newsletters they put out cut to the core of what it means to live with messy feelings without pathologising. And they’re fucking funny.
So I wanted a place to be able to try and talk about those big feelings. I wanted to be creative and to explore. And a blog is as close as I’m going to get because I can’t paint and there’s no Wifi on a wilderness retreat.